
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12797151.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Riverdale_(TV_2017)
  Relationship:
      Sweet_Pea_(Riverdale)/Original_Female_Character(s)
  Character:
      Sweet_Pea, Original_Female_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Date_Rape_Drug/Roofies, Post-Traumatic_Stress_Disorder_-_PTSD,
      Flashbacks, Hypothermia, Naked_Cuddling, Slow_Build, Kind-of, Underage
      Sex
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-11-22 Updated: 2017-12-05 Chapters: 9/? Words: 18836
****** A Candied Violet ******
by MalloryPhoenix101
Summary
     Vi Richards recently moved to the Southside from the Northside, but
     hasn't explored the Southside at all. After being attacked at a party
     hosted at the Whyte Wyrm, she quickly finds herself becoming closer
     and closer to the Southside Serpents, specifically a certain serpent
     named after a vegetable. What will this mean for her? How will her
     parents feel about this?
***** One. Hollowed *****
              They’d moved from the Northside to the Southside not too long
ago, but long enough she didn’t remember what it was like to be Northside. The
Southside was grit, bars, and flickering neon lights. Northside was expensive
strings of pearls, pink skirts, and turning the other cheek when someone
wronged you. She almost felt more comfortable in Southside than in Northside,
as crazy it might sound. Sure, she had to worry about gangbangers and drugs in
Southside but that was easier to deal with than trying to fit in and worrying
about saying the wrong thing, which was her main problem in Northside. Plus, if
she wanted to avoid gangbangers and drugs in Southside, she just didn’t go out
at night (not that her parents would allow it anyways).
              She hadn’t made many friends Northside and only one of them had
remained friends with her when she transferred to Southside High. Jessie Jones
was the epitome of the statement, “You can take the girl out of the Southside,
but you can’t take the Southside out of the girl.” She’d been born on the
Southside, but her family had relocated to the Northside when she was young,
quite the opposite of her own situation. She was close with and hung out daily
with the Southside Serpents, much to her parent’s chagrin and insistence not
to. Jessie didn’t care, though. She did what she wanted, regardless of what it
did to her or her parent’s reputation. Jessie was just like that, though.
              Vi was the opposite, making her wonder frequently how they came
to be and continued to be friends. She was comfortable regardless of where she
was, adapting to her environment, and wasn’t close with anyone except Jessie.
Even her parents didn’t know what was going on with her like Jessie did. She
listened to her parents and did as they asked her to, got good grades and came
home on time, but didn’t talk to them or let them in on her life. They were
definitely always wondering though, always asking…it was annoying.
              “Vi, what are your plans tonight? Your mother and I were thinking
about having a family movie night.” The voice of her father called her from her
thoughts and she resumed stabbing her peas, considering what to say. She didn’t
want to say anything. Just wanted to stand up from the table and leave. She
silently prayed Jessie would show up soon and she’d hear the honk of the red
Bug and escape her parents.
              “I’m going out with Jessie tonight.” She murmured, taking a bite
of her peas after. She didn’t have to be looking to know her parents were
looking back and forth between each other, silently communicating and wondering
what to do. Ban her from going or permit her and just know she’ll be safe?
              “Where are you going?” Her father inquired further, taking a bite
of his pork chop as he waited for his daughter’s answer. She shrugged, poking
her peas idly and glancing at her cell phone besides her, praying silently for
a call or text from Jessie to save her from this conversation.
              “Dunno. Think we’re just gonna ride around South. Maybe go to
Pop’s for a milkshake.” She pushed her plate away from her, sighing and
ruffling her long blonde hair, glancing to the clock on the wall. 6:30PM. She
had about an hour and a half to get ready and she still needed a shower and to
pick out an outfit. “Can I be excused?”
              “You’re not going to finish?” Her mother finally joined the
conversation, pausing in cutting her pork chop to point at Vi’s uneaten
porkchop, mashed potatoes, and half-finished peas.
              “No. I need to get ready.” She stood and left, taking that as her
cue to leave. She could hear her parents whispering amongst themselves as she
left the room, taking the stairs up to her room, presumably about who would be
the bad guy and yell at her.
              “Violet Richards!” Finally, the shrill yell of her father echoed
up the stairs, but she just walked to the top of the stairs, yelling down.
              “I’m getting in the shower, Daddy! Talk to you later!” She turned
to walk back to her room, then paused. “I love you!”
              Sigh.
===============================================================================
 
              She didn’t know why she was there in the first place. She’d never
been to a party before and it had never been her scene, but Jessie had dragged
her along, insisting that she didn’t want to go alone. Jessie had lent her the
sluttiest dress Vi was still okay with, which was a thigh-high cocktail black
dress. She’d elected to keep her black, scuffed-up Chuck Taylor’s on, much to
Jessie’s chagrin. Awkwardly shifting her weight from foot-to-foot, she stood in
the entryway of the Whyte Wyrm until she’s dragged by Jessie, saying something
about getting a drink. She watched as Jessie says something to the bartender,
ordering god-knows-what for the both of them and she looks around, noting that
Jessie’s loud-mouth is already drawing a crowd.
              She didn’t know what to do. While she lived in the Southside,
she’d never ventured out or around as was advised by her parents and everyone
around. Being in the so-called big-bad handout of the Southside, the Whyte
Wyrm, it gave her more than a little anxiety. Smoothing strands of blonde hair,
she rubbed hooker red lips together and tried to act like she’d been in a bar
before. After all, what was the point in using a fake I.D. if you looked like
you’d never done this before?
              “You look like you could use a drink.” A voice called from beside
her and she turned to see a boy slightly taller than her with a rectangular
face, strong jawline, dark eyes set far-apart. His brows were thick and low on
his face, and a large, strong nose. His mouth was small, narrow and pursed, but
pulled up at the edge to exhibit friendliness. His hair was dyed black, and was
slicked back with gel which as he sat down beside her, she realized smelled
quite good. He was tall and gangly, the clothes he wore looking baggy on him.
He was wearing all black, including the traditional Southside Serpents leather
jacket, and he had an air of confidence about him despite his awkward, skinny
appearance. As he tilted his head at her, raising his brows, she noticed that
he had a Serpent tattoo on his neck.
              “Uh, my friend is actually ordering me one, but you’re welcome to
sit with me.” She said, pushing a hair from her face and tucking it behind her
ear.
              “Tell you what: I’ll buy your next one.” He winked at her, a grin
spreading across his features, causing her normally pale features to flush red
and to cover her face.
              “Um, thank you?” Her drink appeared in front of her and she
thanked the bartender, glancing over at Jessie to see her talking to multiple
Serpents, all very interested in what she had to say, no doubt the result of
the short little blue dress she was wearing and six-inch heels she was wearing.
              “That your friend?” The boy from beside her asked and she turned
slowly, giving a light nod as she sipped it, coughing a bit, not used to the
harsh taste of alcohol. “She’s a real attention catcher…it always like that?”
He pointed to Jessie amidst the attention of all the Serpents and Vi slowly
swallowed, nodding slowly again.
              “I don’t mind, though.” She murmured softly, shrugging.
              “Yeah, I can tell. You’re one of those girls who doesn’t like to
talk about themselves or be at the center of attention, huh?”
              Another shrug.
              “What’s your name?” He asked, taking a sip of his own drink.
              “…Um, Vi.” She awkwardly ran a hand through her hair, disheveling
it.
              “Vi? Is that short for something?” He asked.
              “Violet.” The alcohol was definitely taking away any inhibitions
she had considering that she hated her name. She hated telling people her name
and preferred to just go by Vi or V.
              “Like the flower?” He asked, and she couldn’t resist the urge to
roll her eyes. One of the main reasons she hated her name: the amount of pick-
up lines she’d heard related to her name, hence Vi or V.
              “Yes, unfortunately, like the flower.” She sighed, drinking more
of her drink and keeping an eye on Jessie.
              “That’s pretty, but I kinda like Vi better. Makes you sound like
a badass.” Oh. She hadn’t heard that before. She always got why go by Vi if you
have a name like that? It was refreshing.
              “Thanks.”
              Time seemed to blend together. Five minutes seemed to be an hour
and one glass of alcohol seemed like ten. How many had she had? How long had
she been there? She found herself stumbling around, laces of her Chuck’s
untied, a couple of whoa, honey, you alright’s going around. She mumbled
something even she wasn’t sure what it was, and then she felt a familiar hand
grabbing her arm.
              “Vi? Vi? Are you alright?” It was Jessie. Jessie was an
alcoholic, in just about every sense of the word, and in that moment, she was
thankful for it. Jessie steadied her and brushed hair from her face, but her
vision was still so blurry. Slowly, she nodded, licking her lips.
              “’m just going to the bathroom, okay? I’m…’m gonna be sick.” She
pushed Jessie away slowly and stumbled towards the bathroom, or at least what
she was sure was the bathroom, clutching at her head. She silently thanked God
that it was in fact a bathroom when she got there and stumbled into one of the
stalls, noting some of the Serpent graffiti. Groaning, she didn’t even bother
to shut the stall door as she sank to her knees, bent over the toilet.
              “Vi? Vi? You in here?” The voice sounded so distant, far away,
but it sounded familiar. It wasn’t Jessie…she looked behind her and saw
someone…she wasn’t sure who. Was it that boy from earlier? She really wasn’t
sure. Her vision was so blurry. Was this what it was like to be drunk? She felt
herself being moved and her hair being stroked but was too tired to resist it.
She felt herself moving from a sitting position to a laying position and the
cool tile beneath her, and tried to say something, but nothing came out.
              What was going on? Where was Jessie? Wait, why was she even here
in the first place? She was feeling even more exhausted by the second and it
was becoming more and more difficult to keep her eyes open, but the penetrating
light of the bathroom stung whenever she closed her eyes and seemed to be the
only thing keeping her awake. She could hear someone breathing heavily, it
definitely wasn’t her, and it was almost exaggerated, like her senses were
hyper-aware.
              She wanted to do something, to push the person off her, but she
couldn’t do anything. She felt paralyzed, like she couldn’t move a single limb,
or even speak. What was happening? She had so many questions, but was unable to
ask them. She could feel her body being forcibly shifted, legs parted, and she
tried to protest, her brain screamed at her to fight, to resist, but she was
tired. So tired. She allowed herself to be moved, a foot being placed on the
stall while a hand clung to her thigh.
         Oh god, what will her parent’s think? God, where was Jessie?
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Two. Rough All Over *****
              She woke up to the feel of wetness on her skin and groaned as she
regained sensation in her tiny body. Her lower body ached in unimaginable,
indescribable ways and she starts to receive groggy, cloudy memories of last
night, flashing in her brain like flickering lights. It felt like a bad acid
trip, completely surreal, but the pain in her pelvis was a painful reminder
that it was very real and very painful. Groaning, she forced herself into a
sitting position, eyes struggling to focus as the effects of the alcohol began
to wear off. As she sat there, just sitting in the grass as sprinklers watered
the lawn, she came to the horrific realization that she hadn’t consumed just
alcohol last night. A pain settled within her chest and abdomen, a hollowness
and she wanted to cry, but couldn’t. She felt a shock within her as the water
began to soak her dress and shoes and ran a pale pink. She dragged the dress up
her thighs and discovered where the ‘pink’ was coming from.
              She silently wished that this was just a dream, a horrible
nightmare that she could pinch herself and wake up from. Stiffly, she’ll force
herself onto her hands and knees, crawling onto the porch of the Richards
family home of more than five years. Crawling up the steps, she lifted the
house-plant beside the screen door and seized the house-key hidden there before
unlocking the door and opening it as quietly as possible. Almost right away,
Princess, the family dog came trotting down the stairs, her long claws clinking
down the hardwood steps. Vi bent down as Princess stopped in front of her and
brought her large head into her hands, giving her a hug. Princess, sensing that
something was wrong, started to lick her neck and ears. She sighed, rubbing the
dog’s head and moved to ascend the stairs, Princess following closely behind.
She peeked into her parent’s room, seeing that they were both still sound
asleep in bed, and continued down the hallway into her bedroom at the end of
the hall.
              Violet painted in purple against white designated her room and
she pushed open the door, Princess running in almost immediately and leaping
onto the bed in the center of the room, circling a few times before laying
down, brown eyes staring up at her. Her room wasn’t large, but it wasn’t tiny.
Her family had lucked out with this house since many Southsiders lived in
Sunnyside Trailer Park. She had posters on her wall of various bands and poets
she liked, barely an inch of the light purple paint on the wall visible. Her
bed was piled high with pillows and covered in black and purple sheets. A
nightstand sat beside her bed, a lamp on top with a family photograph leaning
against it’s base. She groaned as she shut the door, slipping out of her soaked
Converse, and tugging at the cocktail dress she wore. It felt tight to the
point of suffocating, but she needed a shower first. She wandered over to her
dresser on the far side, Princess giving a soft whine as she did so, and
gathered some pajamas before departing to the shower across the hall.
              Princess followed, laying down on the bath-mat just outside the
shower, keeping watch for anything that might come to hurt her. Peeling the
cocktail dress away from her skin was like peeling off a second skin, revealing
bruised, abraded skin. She tossed the dress in the far corner, taking in her
reflection in the mirror attached to the wall. Her makeup, which Jessie had
piled on, was smeared down her face and around her eyes, mascara and eyeliner
having bled down her cheeks. Lipstick was smeared across her cheek, her hair
disheveled and dripping with water from the sprinklers. Her collarbones and
throat were bruised a bit and she softly touched the skin, but flinched at the
memory that flooded her brain unexpectedly, turning back to face the shower.
Princess whined again, glancing at her and then laying back down, licking her
chops.
              The shower was long and clear water quickly turned pink and
eventually red. She cried most of it, curling up after a short time of
standing, and Princess moved from her spot in the center of the bathroom floor
to sit closer, giving soft whines now and then. Trying to gather herself and
remembering how exhausted she felt, she grabbed the soap and loofah and started
to scrub herself, scrubbing until her skin was red and raw, and even beyond
that. She didn’t stop until she felt even remotely clean, skin peeling, red,
and agitated.
              When she finally got out, it had been two hours. It was five in
the morning. Her mother would be getting up soon. She got into her pajamas,
grabbed the dress from the corner of the bathroom and retreated into the safety
of her room. Curling atop her comforters, clinging to a pillow, she watched
through purple curtains as the sun began to peek over the horizon. Princess
jumped up onto the bed and curled up behind her, nuzzling into her back.
===============================================================================
 
              “Violet! Breakfast!” The voice of her father called her from her
sleep and she groaned, stretching. Immediately, she regretted it, feeling her
pelvis begin to ache as it did the night before. She’ll rummage around on her
night-stand for Tylenol. Finding it, she’ll take two and sigh, remaining in bed
for a few moments.
                      There is a house built out of stone
                     Wooden floors, walls and window sills
                   Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
                   This is a place where I don't feel alone
                     This is a place where I feel at home.
              Stretching again and feeling better about the movement this time,
she’ll stand from the bed and see herself in her full-body mirror by her door.
The bruises around her throat and collarbone had darkened since the night
before, now looking a darker bluish purple. That won’t do, she thought to
herself and walked over to her closest, thanking God that she was a fan of
turtleneck sweaters and threw one on before descending the steps and entering
the dining room.
              Her parents were already sitting at the table, a clear white
plate waiting for her in her spot. Two plates of pancakes and eggs with serving
tongs and spoon waited at the center of the table and she licked her lips,
realizing how hungry she was. She sat down beside her father, reading the
morning paper, and across from her mother, eating in silence but looking at her
as she entered.
              “Violet, why are you wearing a sweater? Isn’t it hot?” Her mother
inquired with a raised eyebrow, taking a bite of egg into her mouth. Oh god.
Hurry quick, excuse, excuse.
              “Um, I left my window open last night. It got a bit chilly.” She
said with a nod, using the tongs to serve herself two pancakes and a spoonful
of eggs.
              “When did you get home last night?” Her father asked, remaining
hidden behind the newspaper.
              “Uh, I think it was like one or two. Dunno.” She said with a
shrug. This was her normal behavior, surely her parents wouldn’t think it was
off.
              “You’re not supposed to be out late, Violet, you’re lucky we even
let you go.” Her mother stated, tone growing firm. Oh god, here comes the
lecture.
              “And actually, we didn’t even let you go. You just left. I don’t
know where this behavior is coming from—” Her father started but was caught off
by her mother.
              “You know damn well where it’s coming from, Allen. It’s that
Jessie Jones! Her and her Southside influence!” Her mother started ranting,
putting her fork down and clutching at the expensive pearls around her neck.
Violet couldn’t resist the urge to roll her eyes and sighed, grabbing her plate
and standing from the table and beginning to leave.
              “Violet Richards! Do not walk away from me!” Her mother stood
from the table, slamming her hand down on the table. She sighed and turned
around, facing her with brows raised.
              “It’s not Jessie and I have a test tomorrow I need to study for.
Daddy, can I be excused?” She looked to her dad for approval, who slowly
nodded, making him a target for her mother’s rage as she left. Upon making it
to her room, she shut the door in an attempt to block out the yelling and when
that failed, pulled out her phone, turning on music and placing her headphones
in.
                              And I built a home
                                    for you
                                    for me
                                        
                             Until it disappeared
                                    from me
                                   from you
                                        
             And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust........
***** Three. We, The Drowned *****
                    “You look like you could use a drink.”
                               Serpent tattoo .
                          Southside Serpents jacket.
                           Slicked back black hair.
                                  Dark eyes.
“Uh, my friend is actually ordering me one, but you’re welcome to sit with me.”
  “Tell you what: I’ll buy your next one.” He winked at her, a grin spreading
  across his features, causing her normally pale features to flush red and to
                                cover her face.
    “Um, thank you?” Her drink appeared in front of her and she thanked the
bartender, glancing over at Jessie to see her talking to multiple Serpents, all
very interested in what she had to say, no doubt the result of the short little
        blue dress she was wearing and six-inch heels she was wearing.
“That your friend?” The boy from beside her asked and she turned slowly, giving
 a light nod as she sipped it, coughing a bit, not used to the harsh taste of
 alcohol. “She’s a real attention catcher…it always like that?” He pointed to
   Jessie amidst the attention of all the Serpents and Vi slowly swallowed,
                             nodding slowly again.
            “I don’t mind, though.” She murmured softly, shrugging.
  “Yeah, I can tell. You’re one of those girls who doesn’t like to talk about
              themselves or be at the center of attention, huh?”
                                    Shrug .
She allowed herself to be moved, a foot being placed on the stall while a hand
                              clung to her thigh.
                            God, where was Jessie ?
              She groaned as she awoke, light buzzing and vibration awaking her
from her sleep. Feeling around her blankets for her phone, she’ll pick it up
and bring it up to her face, flinching at the bright light.
              Jessie calling.
              Another groan and she’ll toss it aside, losing it once more
within the mess of blanket as she rolled onto her side, closing her eyes once
more. Serpent tattoo, dark hair, dark eyes, Southside Serpents jacket. She
wanted to shower again, feeling that disgusting, unclean feeling returning at
having him in her thoughts. Ruffling her hair, she’ll sigh. What should she do?
Should she see a counselor or something? No. That would mean reporting it. A
soft ding echoed through the room and she’ll roll over and grab the phone
again, putting in her code and opening her messages.
              [Text: Jessie]: Hey, did you make it home? Why aren’t you
answering my calls? Xx
              She’ll put it to the side, considering what to say. Yet again,
she didn’t want to say anything. She groaned aloud, louder than ever before and
rolled onto her side, pressing her face into her pillow and continued to groan
until she was interrupted by another ping. She’ll grab the phone again and read
the incoming message.
              [Text: Jessie]: Shit, Vi, are you grounded? I’m sorry xx
              “I fucking wish, J.” She grumbled aloud, adjusting to lay on her
back. She heard a soft noise and looked to see Princess laying at the foot of
the bed on the floor, ears raised. She coaxed her onto the bed and Princess
readily jumped up onto the bed, settling into her side comfortably. She softly
ran her hand over the dog’s fur. She heard her door creak open and watched as
her father entered, looking stressed and tired. Slowly, she’ll sit up and lean
back on the pile of pillows on her bed, brows raised.
              “Hey, Vi…can we talk?” He asked, wringing his hands. She crossed
her arms, rubbing the fabric of the turtle-neck which was now starting to feel
a bit scratchy. She’ll nod, and he strides even more into the room, carefully
taking a seat at the end of her bed, still wringing his hands. She raised her
brows even further.
              “What is it, Daddy?” She asked, shifting to curl up into herself
more. She had a bad feeling in her gut about what her dad was about to say and
she also had a feeling her mom was just outside, listening.
              “Listen, me and your mom have been talking and…we don’t think you
should see Jessie anymore.” He could see every emotion flash through her face
as he said that and immediately, his hands rose in a surrendering way and he
tried to explain. “Vi, please, listen. I don’t know what’s happening to you,
but you’re different. You go out and party. You…you just do things that you
don’t used to do, and we think it’s Jessie. Maybe you don’t but we do and we’re
your parents…” He stiffened, and his voice grew firm. “And if you live in our
house, you’ll abide by our rules.”
              Seeing how upset she was, he stood and walked towards the door,
pausing once he was in the doorway. “Oh, and you’re grounded. You’ll go to
school and straight back. Nothing more.” He shut the door behind him, leaving
her to contemplate and process. She could hear them whispering outside in the
hall and listened as their footsteps departed down the steps. A rage rose
within her and she grasped the lamp off her nightstand and threw it against the
door, shattering it. She curled up within herself as tears began to shed from
her eyes like rain from the sky and brought a pillow to her chest, feeling an
intense emptiness there that she couldn’t seem to fill.
                                We, the drowned
                        Hold our hollow hearted ground
                        Till we swallow ourselves down
                                 Again, again
                                        
                                 We, the ashes
                        We spend our days like matches
                       And we burn our ships as black as
                               The end, the end
                               The end, the end
===============================================================================
                                        
              Going back to school was a significantly more anxious experience
than she remembered it being. The bruises had begun to fade to a green and she
thanked God since this was less noticeable than a dark purple blotch around her
throat. Regardless, she still used some concealer she stole from her mother to
cover it up, not feeling like wearing a turtleneck sweater. Her pelvis was
feeling better, but definitely wasn’t at a hundred-percent and she was sure she
wouldn’t be having sex anytime soon. She dressed in her usual clothes, trying
not to appear as out-of-sorts as possible, but still covering up small bruises
on her arms and legs. A pair of black skinny jeans and long-sleeved flannel
underneath a black bomber jacket was sufficient in this case and she left early
for Southside High in hopes of being there before Jessie.
              [Text: Jessie]: If this is Mr. or Mrs. Richards, I swear nothing
happened and those nudes aren’t mine xx
              [Text: Jessie]: Jk they are. My boobs are great I know xx
              Even in times like these, Jessie always managed to cheer her up,
even if it was with the dumbest things like thinking her parents had claimed
her phone or her amazing self-confidence. She’ll unlock her phone and open the
text message, typing a reply, and sending it, waiting for a response.
              [Text: Jessie]: HOLY SHIT UR ALIVE XX
              [Text: Jessie]: fuck I was scared there for a while u died from
alcohol poisoning xx     
             She’ll type a response again and wait, taking her time walking to
Southside now. After all, she couldn’t delay the inevitable and she might as
well get it out of the way.
              [Text: Jessie]: well I’m glad you’re okay? Xx
              [Text: Jessie]: See you in English?
              She looked up and saw Southside High before her and sighed,
ruffling her blonde hair. Just get through the day, she told herself and walked
in. Southside High was unlike Riverdale High in nearly every way. There was
graffiti on the lockers and walls, there was Jingle-Jangle being done openly in
the hallways. The halls were filled to the point of overfilling, and she kept
her head down, just focusing on getting to her locker and then to English. She
stopped at her locket, put her bag in it and removed her English book and then
wandered off to class, trying to ignore everything else.
                     We know not the fire in which we burn
               But we sing and we sing and the flames go higher
                      We read not the pages which we turn
                But we sing and we sing and we sing and we sing
              “Violet Richards!” She jumped at the sound of the yell of her
name and her head snapped up from a sketch of an S to see the entire class
staring at her. She coughed uncomfortably, shifting in her seat. The teacher,
Mr. Phillips stared at her expectantly before sighing. “Mrs. Richards, can you
tell me the meaning of the soliloquy ‘to be or not to be’ in Hamlet?”
              “Uh, it’s about contemplating suicide and the great unknown, Mr.
Phillips. Hamlet is contemplating killing himself but wonders if it’s really a
good idea considering that we don’t know what’s waiting on the other side and
at least in this life, we know what’s waiting for us. He’s seriously
considering what it means to live and whether it’s really worth it.”
              Cue an awkward cough and a round of hoots, likely from the
Serpents in the room, and she’ll go back to her doodle, seeing that Mr.
Phillips seemed satisfied with her answer. He nodded and went back to the
board. “Good answer, Mrs. Richards.” He declared, but she was already lost in
her drawing again, beginning to create the serpent heads on each end of the Ss
and the tongues.
                               Oh we the wrong,
                         We the sewed up and long gone
                           Were we fallen all along
                             Like this, like this
                             Like this, like this
                                        
                                We, the drowned
                                   The lost
                                 And found out
                              We are all finished
 
 
***** Four. Little Talks. *****
             I don't like walking around this old and empty house
                 So hold my hand, I'll walk with you, my dear
             The stairs creak as you sleep, it's keeping me awake
                 It's the house telling you to close your eyes
                                        
                    And some days I can't even dress myself
                      It's killing me to see you this way
              She was sitting on the bleachers by herself, sketching, when she
heard loud footfalls and the bleachers shaking. She turned her head in time to
have her hair ruffled, to the point of having it fall over her face. She’ll
groan and release her drawing pad to begin fixing it, feeling herself be joined
by several people.
              “It’s good to see you alive and well, Vi.” The familiar voice of
Jessie greeted her as she smoothed out her blonde locks, giving the girl a
glare before quickly closing her drawing pad. Jessie had brought a crowd of
Serpents with her, amongst them a girl she’d seen Jessie hanging with before
and the last thing she needed was them mentioning her drawing one of them.
She’ll shift uncomfortably, not having adapted to the situation yet, and Jessie
will beam from ear-to-ear, gesturing to the crowd she’d brought with her. “Oh
yeah, this is Toni, Sweet Pea, and Fangs.” She nodded and pointed to everyone,
but Violet didn’t particularly care in that moment who each of them were.
              She made a silent note of the Sweet Pea kid (after all, what kind
of a name is Sweet Pea?). He was tall and rather handsome in that dark, bad-boy
kinda way. His hair was short, with strands falling across his forehead, thin
eyebrows, and pale pink lips. His eyes were a dark brown that were lit up with
glints of mischief. He had a ring on one hand, what looked like a tattoo on the
other and a bracelet around one wrist. Of course, he was wearing the Southside
Serpents jacket, making her swallow and look away, remembering the drawing
she’d just been doing.
              “This is Vi, guys.” Jessie introduced her to the badass trio and
she awkwardly shifted, giving an uncomfortable smile and looking out at the
small football/soccer field in front of her. Jessie shifts next to her, also
appearing uncomfortable which was abnormal for her. Vi turns to look at her
with a raised brow. “Hey, uh, we’re going to the quarry. You wanna come?”
              “Uh, thanks, but I’m grounded. ‘go to school and straight back’.”
She mocked her father in the voice closest to his as possible and then took a
heavy, shaky breath. “They also told me not to see you anymore.” She looked to
her best friend, trying to gauge her reaction. She seemed unimpressed, looking
at Violet with raised brows.
              “And are you going to?” She asked, standing with a stiffness
Violet knew all too well. Jessie had lost friends before to parents who
couldn’t tolerate her reckless and wild behavior and she’d been worried for
some time that she’d lose Vi to the same thing. Her stiffness was a façade, an
attempt at covering up hurt and Violet knew that, all too well.
              The edges of her pale pink mouth pulled up and she shifted,
looking up at her best friend. “See you tomorrow?” Her soft blue eyes glowing
with mischief and rebellion, making Jessie grin and nod before shouting at her
merry band of Serpents and running off the bleachers, hooting and hollering.
She watched them leave and then opened her drawing pad again, staring down at
the person depicted with a heaviness in her throat.
              Serpent tattoo. Dark eyes. Dark hair. Southside Serpents jacket.
               A shrug as she heard the bell ring and she’ll stand, bagging the
drawing pad and pencils and heading back inside for her next class. She decided
that later that day, she’d return to Whyte Wyrm and see if he was there. What
would she do if he was? She had no idea.
            There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back
                  Well tell her that I miss our little talks
                 Soon it will be over and buried with our past
                  We used to play outside when we were young
                      And full of life and full of love.
===============================================================================
                                        
              It was late, her parents were asleep, and that was the only
reason she was going to be able to get out. She didn’t bother to change from
what she wore earlier that day, instead just throwing on a sweater and a beanie
in a failed attempt to conceal her identity. She carefully descended the
stairs, doing so as quietly as possible and began walking towards the Whyte
Wyrm. It didn’t take very long to get there, surprisingly enough, but she
waited outside for a good half an hour, trying to convince herself to go in
before going in.
              Once she finally worked up the guts to go in, she was trembling
and incredibly nervous. She was chewing her lower lip as she waded in and out
of the groups of Serpents, all looking at her as she went through, inspecting
each of them and their tattoos.
              Serpent tattoo on his neck. Dark hair slicked back.
              She repeated this to herself as she looked around, hands
trembling slightly, and lip shaking as she chewed on it. As she felt a sickness
and emptiness grow in her stomach, she realized rather quickly that perhaps
maybe coming back so soon hadn’t been her smartest idea. As her gaze locked
with the bathroom to the back, the realization hit her, and it hit her hard.
Instantly, she could feel the bile in the back of her throat and turned to
leave, pushing her way out of the bar. She thanked God that she didn’t throw up
until she stumbled out of the bar, her breakfast that morning spilling over the
asphalt as she vomited violently, shaking and crying.
              She heard the door open behind her as her stomach muscles
clenched and she vomited again, eliciting a groan as she wiped her chin, hoping
she didn’t get any in her hair. A hand touched her shoulder and adrenaline
rushed through her, causing her to turn around before she could really think it
through and throw a punch (a damn good punch, one her father would be proud of)
directly into the face of the person.
              It was Sweet Pea.
              Even if it hadn’t have been the boy, she’d have felt bad and
started apologizing, but since it was, the guilt and apologies came rushing out
much quicker and she immediately started touching his face, asking if he was
alright. He was staring at her with a deadpan expression, surprised that she
was so worried about him after hitting him and he kept waving at her hands
dismissively.
              “God, shit! I’m so sorry, Sweet Pea!” He removed his hands from
his face and she could already see a bruise forming on his cheek, making her
flinch. “Shit. Sorry.” She grimaced.
              “It’s…fine…I scared you.” He was still giving her an odd
expression. She’d apologized like ten times now and was still going. How could
a girl like this still be alive in Southside? “What are you doing here?”
              Lie, Vi, lie. Her brain told her, but she had never been very
good at lying. She bit her lip as she tried to think of something to say and
brows raised. “Um, I was just looking for someone.” Not really a lie, but if
she didn’t say who, it wasn’t really telling the whole truth (technically still
a lie).
              “Who? Jessie?” He asked, brows raising as his hands fell to his
sides. He had a feeling that she hadn’t been looking for Jessie. No, someone
else. He’d seen her sketch book before she closed it and he was curious about
it. Why would she be looking for a Southside Serpent member?
              “Um, yeah. She texted me and said she was here. Guess she’s not.
I’ll just, uh, go.” She awkwardly pointed past Sweet Pea and started to shuffle
past him uncomfortably, smiling awkwardly and breathed a sigh of relief once
past him. While walking away, she was cursing herself for having to lie but
also for telling such a dumb lie which he would, no doubt, figure out was a lie
later.
              “Hey, Vi, right?” He shouted after her. She paused and turned,
fearing the worst. She nodded and shifted, wringing her hands. “It’s late. You
really shouldn’t be wandering around Southside by yourself.”
              What was he suggesting? Walking her home or…?
             She silently prayed he wasn’t suggesting that she stay at his
place, but there was a vague curiosity within her urging her to go to his
place. After all, there wasn’t a lot she knew about the Serpents and where they
lived. Did they live with shitty parents? Or did they have annoyingly perfect
parents and that’s why they rebelled?
              “Well, I have to get home before my parents find out. Grounded,
remember?” She pointed behind her and raised her brows and he rolled his
shoulders, glanced behind him at the Whyte Wyrm and then jogging to catch up
with her.
 
              It didn’t take her long to get home, especially with Sweet Pea
escorting her. With ease, she found the key beneath the plant on the porch and
unlocked the door, Princess immediately coming to the door. She’ll look behind
her to see Sweet Pea standing on the porch sticking out like a sore thumb and
she’ll raise her brows, stepping out far enough on the porch to chance a glance
up to the sky, seeing dark clouds beginning to gather.
              “Why don’t you come in for a bit? Looks like it’s gonna rain.”
She offered.
              “Is that really a good idea?” He asked, brows raising.
              “Does it really matter?” She challenged, stepping inside the
house and stripping her beanie and sweater. He glanced up and down the street
before sighing and stepping inside with an air of reluctance. She closed the
door behind him and began to ascend the staircase, urging him to follow but to
do so quietly. He nodded and followed her, looking around the house as he did
so.
              “My parents are sleeping and should be for a while. They’ll kill
me if they find out I invited a Serpent boy into the house, though.” She
whispered as they entered her room, Princess running up to the bed and jumping
on it.
              “Never thought the Southside would be prejudiced against the
Southside.” Sweet Pea grumbled as he entered the room of purple, brows raising
even further. She noticed his expression and nodded.
              “Yeah, I know. My parents took the whole Violet thing too damn
seriously. I literally hate purple.” She grumbled, removing the next layer of
sweater subconsciously and without care to the fact that her bruises were still
healing. Sweet Pea noticed, but didn’t say anything. As far as he was
concerned, it wasn’t his business.
              “Make yourself at home. Do you want something to drink?” She
asked, taking off her scuffed-up Chuck’s and setting them by her bed.
              “I’m fine.” He grumbled, taking a seat in her vanity chair. She
nodded and disappeared from the room for a moment to get herself a drink and
change, returning in pajamas with a glass of water. She sat down on the bed,
sighing softly.
              “Um…listen…thanks for…escorting me home and stuff, especially
after I, uh, hit you. Sorry about that, again. I’m just really jumpy.” She
rubbed at the back of her head absentmindedly and bit her lip, hoping her
apology would be accepted and he would understand what she was trying to get
across. He remained silent and still for a moment before standing.
              “I better go.” He started towards the door, obviously
uncomfortable, but she stopped him, grabbing him by the sleeve of his leather
jacket.
              “Wait, um…will…will you, uh, stay?” She asked. She was sure she
sounded crazy or weird, but for some reason, his presence was comforting to
her. “You can sleep in a warm bed. Um, I’ll bring you breakfast in the morning
if you want. Y-You can even use the shower, if you like.” She bargained,
desperate for him to stay.
              His brows furrowed. He didn’t understand why this girl, who he’d
just barely met, wanted him to stay, but he could tell she was disturbed by
something, upset, as if the throwing up outside Whyte Wyrm wasn’t telling of
that. He wasn’t one to deny people of comfort either, after all, he was called
Sweet Pea, not Bitter Pea. He also didn’t see the harm in it, especially with
the pluses she’d mentioned. He slowly nodded and watched as she laid down in
the bed, shifting a bit so that there was room for the both of them, but a line
of pillows between them.
              “Your side.” She gestured to the right side of the pillows. “My
side.” The left side of the pillows. “Cross it and I’ll cut your fingers and
dick off.” He had no reason to believe she wouldn’t follow through on said
threat, considering she’d already punched him in the face, on accident. He
nodded and stripped himself of the Southside Serpent jacket and took his shoes
off before sliding into the bed. It was a strange, foreign feeling. Her bed
smelled so sweet, like a very sweet-smelling shampoo and it was incredibly
soft, practically melting to every part of him that required support. He
groaned happily, and she softly laughed.
              “Content, Sweet Pea?” She asked, moving onto her side as she
crawled into the bed and wrapped herself in the bedding. He nodded, making her
grin. “Thanks for staying.”
                         You're gone, gone, gone away
                            I watched you disappear
                      All that's left is a ghost of you.
                       Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,
                           There's nothing we can do
                     Just let me go we'll meet again soon
                          Now wait, wait, wait for me
                              Please hang around
                        I'll see you when I fall asleep
***** Five. The Sweetest Pea *****
              And so, this went on for weeks. He began sneaking in her window
as Vi became increasingly afraid she’d get caught by her parents. As days
turned into weeks, slowly the The Great Pillow Wall of Violet’s Bed began to
dwindle; first one pillow then another until finally there wasn’t one. They
still remained on their opposite sides, Vi perfectly snuggled into her side,
buried underneath the covers and Sweet Pea, lying on top of them and scooted to
the very edge, reluctant to be caught even touching her in his sleep. Somehow,
when he woke up, they’d have scooted closer to each other, but still not to the
point of touching. Every morning, he’d wake up a few hours before school,
gather his things, and climb back out of her window, leaving her sleeping
soundly on her back in the bed.
              Today was different. Sweet Pea wasn’t sure why, or how, but a
feeling in his gut made him reluctant to leave. He got up, showered and snuck
some food from downstairs, but still hadn’t left. Instead, he was watching her
sleep, wrapped warmly in the sheets, snuggled towards the spot he’d been. The
bruises she had around her collarbone and neck had now faded to a yellow and
could only be seen when squinting, but Pea was boundlessly curious about where
she’d gotten them. Her parents didn’t seem abusive and Pea was an excellent
judge of character.
              Sighing and shaking the thought out of his head, he’ll put his
jacket on and move for the window, pausing only as he spotted her drawing pad,
remembering how she’d quickly hidden it the day they had met. Glancing behind
him to ensure she was still sleeping and seeing that she was, he’ll saunter
over to the vanity and pick up the pad, slowly opening it, feeling a deep dread
in his stomach as he did so. Initially, it was just drawings of flowers and
people with their names scribbled beneath their portraits but as he flipped
through the pages, he began seeing small doodles of eyes, a Serpent tattoo, and
a familiar-looking boy with slicked back dark hair, dark eyes, and the Serpent
tattoo on his neck. He dropped it immediately and glanced behind him at the
sleeping girl, brows wrinkling in confusion. Why did she have drawings of some
Serpent kid?
              He closes the drawing pad, runs a hand over his face and takes
his leave before she wakes, deciding to do some investigating before bringing
it up to her, if he brought it up to her at all. After all, what business was
it of his what she did? Maybe they were sharing a bed, but it was only out of
some misplaced compassion that he was starting to regret having.
                           Count back, anaesthetise
                          Colours burnt into my eyes
                        Life for you is shades of grey
                         Help me, help me find my way
                                        
                          Lost, lost, and never found
                        Hide your secrets, settle down
                           I am young and I am naïve
                       Tell me something I will believe
              It was a normal day for her. She got up, got ready for school and
headed out. She arrived at Southside High just before first period and rushed
to English, breathing a sigh of relief as she slid into her seat right as the
bell rang and Mr. Phillips began talking about Hamlet once more. She was only
partially paying attention, which led to her name being said embarrassingly
loud to get her attention. Again.
              “Violet Richards.” Her head snapped up and she awkwardly shifted,
feeling the attention of the class upon her again. She swallowed thickly, the
tension tangible enough to cut with a knife.
              “Uh, yes, sir?” She ruffled her hair and looked around, wondering
if Phone-a-Friend was an option just to figure out the question.
              “Can you read Hamlet, Act 4, Scene 7, Lines 162 to 179? Please.”
Oh god. She hated reading aloud, let alone reading aloud to a bunch of students
who didn’t really care about the material anyway. Sighing, she’ll stand and
remove her copy of Hamlet, turning to the requested piece and after a brief
adjustment period, spoke the requested lines:
                     There is a willow grows aslant a brook
               That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream.
                  There with fantastic garlands did she come
              Of crowflowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples,
                  That liberal shepherds give a grosser name,
             But our cold maids do “dead men’s fingers” call them.
                There, on the pendant boughs her coronet weeds
                 Clambering to hang, an envious sliver broke,
                   When down her weedy trophies and herself
              Fell in the weeping brook. Her clothes spread wide,
                  And mermaid-like a while they bore her up,
                 Which time she chanted snatches of old lauds
                     As one incapable of her own distress,
                     Or like a creature native and indued
                  Unto that element. But long it could not be
                Till that her garments, heavy with their drink,
                 Pulled the poor wretch from her melodious lay
                                To muddy death.
              She spoke the last three words slowly, letting the words sink in
to anyone listening, who she suspected was only Mr. Phillips but as she looked
around, she saw the entire class staring at her with mixed expressions. Some in
awe, confusion, distaste, and some even in thought. Her eyes fell on Sweet Pea,
who had his legs propped up unceremoniously on his desk, but was staring at her
with a soft smile on his lips. His brown eyes were softened, like honey, in a
way that she’d never seen them before. She’ll smile back and slowly sit down,
coughing as an end to her reading.
              “Uh, great work, Miss Richards.” Mr. Phillips announced after a
few moments of silence before continuing with his lesson. She glanced back at
Sweet Pea again, hoping to see him still smiling, but his tough demeanor had
returned and his lips were turned up in a scowl, arms crossed over his chest
and disdain evident on his features. Swallowing thickly, she’ll turn back to
the chalkboard and her book, softly doodling on the pages.
 
              When lunchtime rolled around, she was more than hungry,
practically running from her second period class to the cafeteria. She’s
stopped by Sweet Pea, who grabs her by the arm and drags her out and away from
the cafeteria until they are standing outside and by his bike, her groaning and
crying the entire way. She didn’t understand what was going on, but the
humorous air quickly faded, dissipating in the face of Sweet Pea’s intense
stare and crossed arms.
              “What?” She finally asked, brows raising.
              “Why do you have drawings of a Southside Serpent?” He didn’t beat
around the bush, that was for sure. She was suddenly reminded of her drawing
pad, which she’d left out of her bag the night before and cursed herself
quietly, cringing physically as she did so.
              “Wait…you went through my stuff?” She challenged, adjusting her
footing to one of a more commanding one. It was difficult to feel that way in
Sweet Pea’s presence. He was a Serpent for a reason, after all. He was tall,
taller than her, and when he dressed all in dark clothes like he did, he was
intimidating to anyone, especially someone like her with next to zero self-
confidence.
              “Not really. It was just laying there.” He defended. “Hardly the
point.” He pointed out.
              “What does it matter? I draw things I see.” In conversations that
got too personal, Violet had a way of putting up a wall, both an emotional and
verbal one. She was starting to lay the brick and mortar for one, feeling an
anxiety rise in her chest at having to talk about him.
              “The drawings were awfully grim. Where’d you see him? How do you
know him? There are so many questions, Vi!” He threw his hands in the air
frustratedly before sighing, running his hands through his hair, “Listen. If
you wanna draw Serpents, I don’t care, but you sure had a lot of him and I’ll
just tell you right now: if you’re coming after one of us, it won’t end well,
especially for a Northie like you.”
              It hurt. It hurt in ways she hadn’t realized it would when he
called her that. Northie. While it was true that she originated from Northside,
she had moved to Southside and it had became her home. It was more her home
than Northside ever was and to be accused of being more Northside than
Southside set a fire within her.
              “You know what, Pea? Fuck you! Find somewhere else to stay, maybe
your shitty trailer in Sunnyside with all your other shittyfriends, huh? Can’t
believe I ever thought you were anything but a thug!” She shoved him back,
quite hard, but he hardly stumbled, making her shriek in frustration before
stomping off, not even bothering to return to the school. She didn’t know where
she was going, but her feet would take her there.
              “At least this thug is Southside!” He shouted after her.
                           Take me, take me far away
                          From this city's soul decay
                         Hid away 'til I was eighteen
                        Only saw colours on a TV screen
                                        
                          Skinny jeans and sunglasses
                      A fashion statement for the masses
                        What you're doing makes me sick
                            Over hyped and generic
              She didn’t know how she’d ended up at the quarry but there she
was, sitting on one of the carved-out ledges, looking down at the small pit
filled with water. She rocks her feet, ruffling her hair every few minutes as a
nervous tic, thinking back to her and Pea’s fight earlier that day. She didn’t
know what to do or say. She felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket and
sighed as she removed it, opening the message.
              [Text: Jessie]: Toni said she saw you and Pea fighting today.
What happened? Also, are you and Pea a thing? Xx
             Groaning, she’ll set the cellphone aside and lay on her back,
still allowing her feet to dangle off the side. After a few moments of staring
up at a starry, endless sky, she’ll sit up and look down at the water,
reflecting the sky above. So quiet…It was then that she realized she’d never
jumped off or into the quarry. She wondered what it was like, closed her eyes
and imagined it, before re-opening them and staring down.
              Why dream about it when you can do it, right?
              She was sure she’d regret it, but she was regretting everything
lately so fuck it, right? She’ll strip her jacket off and stand on the ledge,
biting her lip. Now that she actually decided to do it and was looking down
with the intent to jump, it wasn’t as easy as she thought it was. She rubbed
her boot on the ledge, peering down at the water. How deep was it? She could
only guess—.
              Shit. Her boot slipped from the gravel edge and she felt herself
falling before she realized it and she let out a loud scream, not that anyone
was around to hear it. She hit the water with a loud splash and it hurt,
hitting at such a velocity but what hurt more was how fucking cold the water
was. It was cold enough that it burned her skin as she sunk deeper into it,
panicking as she kicked and tried to tread water like her mom taught her when
she was young. She watched as her vision began to blur again, panic rising in
her as she recalled the last time this happened, and she tried to tread again,
but stopped as her vision went black.
                                    “What?”
              “Why do you have drawings of a Southside Serpent?”
                       “Wait…you went through my stuff?”
                              “Hardly the point.”
                  “What does it matter? I draw things I see.”
“…if you’re coming after one of us, it won’t end well, especially for a Northie
                                  like you.”
                                   Northie.
                                   Northie.
                                   Northie.
                                   Northie?
         “Can’t believe I ever thought you were anything but a thug!”
                      “At least this thug is Southside!”
 
              It came to her in flashes, as that night did. Someone grabbing
her and pulling her out of the quarry water, her breaking the surface and
gasping for breath, waking up on the water’s edge, seeing who it was. It was
Pea. He was saying something about how dangerous it was jumping into the
quarry, but she couldn’t hear him very well. She felt like she did when she’d
been drugged: tired and groggy. She felt his hands on her face as her vision
went dark again.
              When she opened her eyes again, she was in a trailer. Wait, what?
She was shaking from head-to-toe, exhausted for a currently unknown reason and
she was incredibly confused. She struggled to move, ruffling her hair with
shaky hands, and calling out into the trailer, vision blurring again.
              “Mhm. Pe-ea?” Her words slurred, and she wondered if she was
drunk but couldn’t recall drinking any alcohol. No, she’d…she’d fell into the
quarry. She’ll feel around for her cell-phone, finding it beside the bed she
was on, and tried to put in her passcode, seeing a bunch of missed calls from
her parents, but failed due to her fumbling fingers.
              “Here. Drink this.” She looks to the doorway, seeing Sweet Pea
enter with a mug. A mug of what? His hair was wet and clung to his forehead,
parts of it still drying and he was wearing a white tee and a set of
sweatpants. He came over, sitting down on the edge of the bed and offering the
mug to her. She tried to take it but couldn’t, leading to him gently lifting
her head and pouring it into her mouth.
              Hot chocolate. Holy fuck. It had been so long since she’d had hot
chocolate! It was good, too, something she hadn’t expected of Sweet Pea, but
she was impressed. As he laid her head back down and set the mug aside, she
began to look around the room, quickly realizing she was in Sweet’s room. Oh
god! He’d saved her and brought her back to his place.
              “S-sweet P-pea?” She asked, words slurring and voice coming out
as a soft mumble as she watched him place two fingers on her neck. Her brows
furrowed in confusion and she watched as he removed his fingers, concern
crossing his features. He stood and ran his hands through his hair, pacing
around the room. When he finally stopped pacing and returned to her side of the
bed, she watched as he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his
head.
              The boy had abs. He was incredibly well-built, a muscular chest,
arms…honestly, she didn’t know where to look because it was all very attractive
but also very confusing. She didn’t know why she was seeing this…He’ll take a
knee on the bed and bend to start tugging at her clothing and while her
confusion was still ever-present, something else was as well.
              “W-what are you doing, Pea?! Stop!” She tried to shove his hands
away from her as he tugged at her shirt, pulling it up to reveal a blindingly
pale stomach. She felt tears form on the edges of her eyes as she began to
writhe beneath him, trying to push his hands away to the best of her ability,
only able to think of the night that seemed like just a few days ago.
                                Serpent tattoo.
                          Southside Serpents jacket.
                           Slicked back black hair.
                                  Dark eyes.
She allowed herself to be moved, a foot being placed on the stall while a hand
                              clung to her thigh.
              Pea stopped and his hands found the sides of her face amid her
panic, forcing her to look at him. While she didn’t want to at first, gradually
the softened look within them (just like honey) began to calm her down and she
stopped writhing around, relaxing beneath him, shivers occasionally running
through her. He’ll nod once she’s calmed down and release her face before
speaking in a soft, hushed tone.
              “Listen. You have hypothermia. I have to warm you up, okay? I’m
not looking to do anything weird.” By anything weird, she assumed have sex with
her and while a part of her was insulted that was the phrasing he used, that
part of her was mostly subdued now. Her hands came to rest on her chest and she
felt a pang of anxiety and shyness. She’d never been naked in front of anyone
before, let alone…Sweet Pea. Also wow, she remembered that he’s shirtless and
glanced down again, becoming distracted momentarily before forcing herself to
look him in the eyes. Reluctantly, she’ll nod and move her hands to rest by her
sides, letting Sweet Pea finish undressing her.
              He remained incredibly focused on his task, not even casting a
second glance as he removed her top and bra. If there was something she
wouldn’t have accused a Serpent of being, it was honorable but after this, she
would have to award Sweet Pea a serious medal of honor. He continued with her
pants, and she averted her gaze upwards, feeling tears brim again as she was
stripped. She didn’t even hear as he stripped his own pants and joined her in
the bed, snuggling them together before tugging a large blanket over them. It
was rather strange to be this close to Sweet Pea, and so vulnerable, without
having had much prior contact. It was like having a vulnerable conversation
with a stranger or…being naked in a bed with a stranger because your dumbass
went and got hypothermia.
              But she did know Sweet Pea. He was a member of the Serpents and
Jessie knew him and hung out with him. He’d been staying at her place because
she was too afraid to sleep alone and having nightmares. And…and he’d saved her
life...
                           Shine, shine like the sun
                      Spread your warmth through everyone
                          I asked you why people die
                         You said we all had a design
                                        
                              Slide into the sea
                          Landslide comin' down on me
                             I said I was into you
                           You said you were into me
 
             His hand came to rest on her throat, touching her pulse point so
he could monitor it as they warmed up. She rested one hand on her stomach and
the other on the valley between her breasts, looking over at him. Eyes
fluttering open and closed slowly due to exhaustion, she smiled softly at the
view of him she had. He was somehow different in this moment. Concern, a
foreign emotion on Sweet’s face, spread so blatantly across his features: brows
knit together, lips pulled tight, and nostrils flaring with every heavy breath
he took. He just looked so...gentle.
              “What?” He asked, voice gruff, a hint of annoyance present.
              “Nothing…just…I keep ending up in these situations…and you’re
always there…maybe it’s a sign.” She didn’t know what she was saying at all. It
had to be the hypothermia…right?
              “What do you mean?” He asked, voice now lined with curiosity as
he leaned into her a bit.
              “W-when you found me outside of the Whyte Wyrm, I was…” She
sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “I was looking for him. That Serpent
you saw in my sketchbook. Seems to me that you’re saving me from making bad
decisions.”
              “Or maybe I am a bad decision.” He spoke softly, looking away
from her as if considering the current situation they were in.
              “Mhm. I don’t think so.” She grumbled softly before leaning
forward, as much as her body would let her in her slightly frozen state and
capturing his lips with hers. They were surprisingly soft, though a bit
chapped, and kissing him was better than any of the first kisses she’d
envisioned for herself. He began to kiss back, the hand on her neck becoming a
soft hold. They kissed for several moments, though it seemed like years, before
he released her lips and she buried her face into his neck out of embarrassment
at her momentary bravery.
              “Maybe it’s the hypothermia talking…but I really like you,
Sweets.” She mumbled into his throat before feeling herself drift off into a
comfortable sleep.
                           Count back, anaesthetise
                          Colours burnt into my eyes
                        Life for you is shades of grey
                         Help me, help me find my way
                                        
                        Mother, can't you help me now?
                    'Cause I've been drowning in the sound
                             Lying on the motorway
                        Writing songs and wasting away
             
***** Six. In My Bones *****
                                  In my bones
                           I can feel it in my bones
                       In a way that I never felt before
                I just can't stop from wondering where you are
                            How's it for you baby?
                                        
                                Don't know why
                           Don't know where to begin
                     Don't know what is or isn't happening
                                Don't know how
                           My head's in such a spin
                           Is yours in one too baby?
              When Sweet Pea woke up the next morning, it almost seemed like
any other morning. Waking up side by side, aside from the whole snuggling naked
bit. Violet had intertwined her limbs with his, a leg between his and one arm
underneath him while the other softly rested against his throat, cradling his
face and neck. She looked incredibly angelic, her eyes closed softly and a
sweet gentleness settled on her features, lips softened into a calm flat line
as she slept, chest rising and falling. He found himself breathless as he
watched her sleep, laying there for a few moments before realizing how late it
was. Though it was difficult, he unwound himself from her and put on his
bottoms, leaving her to go about his daily routine. When he returned, she was
stirring awake and he cursed himself for getting out of the bed.
              “Mhm. Morning, Pea.” She murmured softly, the grogginess of sleep
still lacing her voice as she adjusted herself in the bed, rolling onto her
back and rubbing her eyes as she stared up at him. He crossed his arms and put
on a neutral face, or tried to, considering that she was still very naked. She
kept the blankets around her, thankfully, and he coughed awkwardly.
              “Um…I haven’t been able to wash or dry your clothes yet but uh, I
can give you some of mine.” Some of yours? God, Sweets, what is she, your
fucking girlfriend? He cursed himself internally and didn’t wait for a
response, leaving the room to get said clothes, returning to find her sitting
up in the bed, blankets still around her. She’ll give a sleepy smile, the edges
of her mouth lifting, as she takes the clothes from him and sets them beside
her.
              “Was this the only way you could think of to get me naked,
Sweets?” She teased, a smirk evident on her lips as she thumbed the edge of the
sheets, brows raised at him. Did his cheeks flush? Yes. Did he hide it? Oh,
yes. He adjusted his arms across his chest and scowled, trying to contain any
embarrassment he felt about her currently being naked in his bed, before
walking off, saying something about getting dressed for the day in the
bathroom. She dressed quickly and checked her phone, seeing even more missed
calls from her parents than the night before and even a few texts.
              [Text: Birther]: If you don’t get home soon, you are GROUNDED,
Violet! Grounded!
              [Text: Birther]: Please call me.
              [Text: Birther]: We’re calling the police.
             Jesus Christ. Her parents certainly had a tendency to over-react,
that was something she knew for sure. Though feeling a bit awkward in the
clothes as they weren’t very form-fitting, Pea’s clothes were surprisingly
comfortable still and smelled amazing. She could smell him on them: that
natural musk of his, a hint of cigarettes, and spearmint gum. She brought it up
to her nose and took a heavy breath in, letting the scent fill her nostrils and
wash over her nerves, soothing them. She smiled softly, enjoying the moment
before realizing she probably looked like a creep and beginning to gather her
things. Her phone went off again and she reached for it, unlocking it, and
seeing the text was from Jessie.
              [Text: Jessie]: Your parents called me last night. Said they
haven’t seen you since yesterday morning. You okay? Call me. Xx
             Sigh. She hadn’t talked to her best friend about anything going on
in personal life at all, not since that night. Jessie had no idea what was
going on with her, not any more than her parents did anyway. Hell, Sweet Pea
probably had more of an idea than Jessie did and that was just outright
shameful. She’ll quickly type a response, sending it just as Pea returned from
the bathroom, dressed in a pair of dark jeans, a dark tee, red flannel, and his
Southside Serpents jacket. His hair was wet and had gel in it, making her raise
her eyebrow at him as she turned and looked him over. He was always so
different when he had his jacket on, at least to her. When he put the jacket
on, he put on this façade of being a commanding, mean boy when last night and
small moments prior, she’d been able to see slivers of what he truly was: a
really sweet, kind person. She silently wondered why he’d joined the Serpents
in the first place, but she had a pretty good idea why.
              “Uh…I have to get home…my parents are gonna kill me. Almost wish
the hypothermia had.” She joked, but Pea didn’t show signs of even a hint of a
smile. “I’ll…talk to you later?” It’s said like a question. She’s unsure of
their relationship with the development of recent events and she can’t help but
remember that she’d kissed him last night, which no doubt was the source of the
awkwardness in their conversation then. She didn’t know what she was supposed
to say or do, and made a silent note to talk to Jessie about it later. She’d
know all about this. Awkwardly, she’ll shuffle around the tall, brooding boy
and towards the entrance to his trailer, opening and closing it while cursing
herself for being such an awkward person and leaving without a moment’s
thought.
              Her parents were going to kill her.
 
              When she got home, she tried to open the door quietly. Tried to
sneak upstairs and change before she had to face the wrath of her parents, most
likely more her mother than her father, but Princess came running the second
the door was opened, and her parents followed suit, knowing the dog would lead
the way to their child. And that’s what lead to her sitting at the head of her
dining room table, struggling to explain why she was in someone else’s clothes
without revealing that she’d spent the night at a boy’s place because lord
knows her parents would lose their shit.
              “It was just the only normal clothing Jessie had.” She shrugged
as her parents stared her down, looking for signs of lying. “I’m sorry I
worried you. M-my phone died.”
              “Doesn’t Jessie have a charger?” Her mother inquired, crossing
her arms over her chest and quirking a blonde brow.
              “U-uhm, yeah, but she was too drunk to find it and I was really
tired. I-I’m really sorry, Mum.” She rested her hands on her lap and
uncomfortably shifted. “C-can I get ready for school? I have to be there soon.”
              Her mother squinted, as if not believing what her daughter was
telling her and leaned back, considering. After a few moments of staring her
down and more considering, she finally nodded and gestured up the stairs.
Violet immediately seized the opportunity and had to resist the urge to run up
the steps, taking them slowly until she was out of sight and then practically
jogging to her room. She’ll strip herself of Pea’s clothing, although a bit
reluctantly, and smell it one last time before stuffing it away in her closet.
She changes quickly into a sweater, a pair of skinny jeans, a denim jacket, and
a pair of boots. She packs her backpack and practically runs down the stairs,
announcing she’s leaving, and running out the front door.
                                And it goes on
                               It goes on and on
                               While you're here
                          And long after you're gone
                             Can't pretend no more
                 I just can't pretend I'm not in love with you
                                That's not true
                                     True
              By the time she got to Pop’s, it was probably halfway through
first period. The bell jingled as she entered, and she immediately spotted
Jessie sitting in the corner booth, texting on her cellphone, waiting for her
to arrive. She’ll give a shy glance to Pops, who could tell that she was
skipping school by the fact that she was there, but didn’t say anything. After
all, it gave him business and he wasn’t her father. She’ll saunter over to the
corner booth and slide in with a sigh, making her best friend jump in her seat
before grinning at her.
              “Jesus fuck, Vi! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Hiding
out in the shadows much?” She teased, quirking her brown brows at her as she
set her cellphone aside and leaned forward, waiting for her best friend to pour
her guts out.
              “Uh, yeah, in a way. More specifically, hiding in Sunnyside.” She
decided not to hide it or try to beat around the bush about it, knowing that
Jessie would just coax it out of her eventually and that would be ten times
worse as just coming out and saying it. Instantly, Jessie’s mouth formed an ‘O’
and she raised her brows slowly as her face contorted in confusion and a bit of
excitement.
              “Wait…does this have to do with you and Sweet Pea?” Almost right
away, her face flushed at the thought of the dark-haired, dark-eyed boy she’d
kissed the night before. The memory of him shirtless and standing over her
before taking her clothes off…and then the naked snuggling. Her head was in her
hands, hiding her reddened face before she knew it and Jessie was reaching
across the table, shaking her shoulder and demanding details. She’ll try to
overcome her embarrassment, flashes of the attractive Sweet Pea from the night
before flooding her brain, and she only continues shaking her head and blushing
as the waitress arrives to take her order.
              “I’ll just have a vanilla milkshake, thanks.” She grumbles, head
in her hands.
        “Seems to me that you’re saving me from making bad decisions.”
                         “Maybe I am a bad decision.”
                           “Mhm. I don’t think so.”
              Her stomach floods with butterflies as she recalls kissing him,
that beautiful feeling that blossomed in her chest the second her lips met his
soft ones, and how she felt like she’d be chasing after that feeling with every
kiss after. As Jessie ordered, she lifted her hands to her lips and softly
touched the skin, almost able to feel his lips on them in that very moment.
              “Whatever happened, Girl, you got it bad.” Jessie murmured,
breaking her out of her thoughts. She’ll glance over at the other, smiling
softly.
              “Got what?” She probed, brows raising in confusion as her hand
fell to rest on the table of the booth. Jessie laughed…and laughed…and laughed?
She was laughing so hard she was clutching at her stomach and covering her
mouth. It took a solid three minutes to compose herself and then she slammed
her hands on the table.
              “Love, girl! L-O-V-E! Either you love him or what his dick does,
though I have a feeling it’s not the latter.” Her face flushed again, and she
pouted, looking out the window in avoidance of her best friend’s vulgar
questions. While it was true that they hadn’t done anything ornately sexual, it
was also true that they had seen each other naked, not that they had really
seen anything. While Violet had been amazed at how muscular and well-built he
was, she hadn’t looked any further and she was sure Sweet Pea was too honorable
to have taken advantage of the situation to catch a glimpse at any part of her,
breast or otherwise.
              “Well, either way, my parents lost their shit and called the
cops…so…I don’t think we’ll be seeing each other very soon or often for that
matter.” She grumbled, crossing her arms as she waited for her milkshake to
come. Jessie frowned instantly and crossed her own arms with a dismissive roll
of her eyes.
              “Listen, Vi, if you like him, then fuck them, okay? All they care
about is their reputation. Liking a Southsider? They won’t like that one bit
but you’re in Southside. Who else are you supposed to like? Plus, the Serpents
aren’t as bad as people think they are. They just have a bad rep because of
certain members.” Jessie stated flatly, shaking her head at the other’s
parents. They were hypocritical in a way and it bothered Jessie. They,
themselves, were Southsiders but were shitting on anyone who wasn’t on “their”
level. It more than pissed her off: it drove her up a fucking wall.
              Speaking of certain members…she needed to tell Jessie. She felt a
knot form in her throat and looked away, trying to compose herself. It felt her
throat and lungs were filling up with cement and she couldn’t breathe. She
began to panic, but she tried to keep it to herself. She tried to calm down,
breathing through her nose, holding it and then exhaling. She saw their
milkshakes coming and focused on it, deciding that she’d wait until she had a
distraction to tell her. The waitress set the milkshakes down in front of the
two of them with a smile and then disappeared, leaving her only with what she
needed to tell her, the desperate desire to tell her, but also the fear deep
seated in her chest.
              “Um, Jessie. There’s something I need to…to tell you about th-the
night of the party.” She took a sip of her milkshake after speaking, feeling it
soothe the ache in her chest only a little bit and watching as concern crossed
Jessie’s normally relaxed and grinning features. She’ll take a sip of her own
milkshake then offer her hand, able to tell just how upset she was by what she
was trying to say. Though normally repulsed by human contact and emotions,
she’ll take her hand and sigh, trying to compose herself. “Um…th-this guy…he…I
think he drugged my drink.”
              Her face instantly changed as realization hit her and it was
horrific as she went through every emotion in a matter of a few seconds. Shock,
horror, fear, guilt, and then finally, rage. She gripped Violet’s hand tightly,
bringing her other hand up to the table and clinging to her. She didn’t even
need to finish the story. Jessie knew. Jessie always knew.
              “Have you told anyone?” She swallowed. “Or am I the first?”
              “The first.” She said softly with tears in her eyes. On a dime,
Jessie switched sides in the booth and took a seat beside her friend, bringing
her into her shoulder, wrapping her arm around her as she felt a rage set fire
to her blood. Violet had been her best friend for as long as she could
remember. They shared everything: secrets, future wedding plans, hatred of
their parents and often, they shouldered pain together. It hurt her to know
that she had been suffering underneath the weight of something like this so
long and she had no clue; that she had been so lost in her own world of drugs
and partying to even see that her best friend was in pain.
              “It’s okay, Vi. I’m gonna kill who did this to you.” She kissed
her temple, massaging her shoulder as she broke down into a sob, wrapping her
own arm around Jessie and pulling her closer as she sobbed and sobbed. It
seemed like an endless river of tears and with every tear that fell, Jessie’s
blood only boiled even hotter for the person who had caused this pain in the
first place.
                                  In my bones
                           I can feel it in my bones
                       In a way that I never felt before
                I just can't stop from wondering where you are
                            How's it for you baby?
                                        
                                And it goes on
                               It goes on and on
                               While you're here
                          And long after you're gone
                             Can't pretend no more
                 I just can't pretend I'm not in love with you
                                That's not true
                                     True
                                     True
             
             
                                        
***** Seven. Not You *****
              “Do you know who it was?” Jessie asked, making her sigh and
ruffle her dark blonde hair. She sat on her bed amongst a bunch of drawings,
all panicked scribbles of the features she remembered with Jessie analyzing
each one, searching for any memorable features.
              “No, Jessie, I told you. I didn’t know him…I didn’t…” She felt
sick again and groaned, flopping back onto her back and throwing her arm over
her eyes, trying to make the nausea in her stomach go away. Jessie sighed and
plopped on the bed beside her, softly rubbing her leg before laying down on it.
              “It’s okay, Vi. I’m just trying to—”
              “Help, yeah, I know, but I just don’t feel like…like you can,
Jessie. It’s just…I don’t know. It feels like…like I don’t know.” She sighed
exasperatedly and ruffled her hair away from her face before dragging her hands
down her face. Jessie softly patted her leg before sitting up onto her elbows.
              “On a better note, what about you and Sweet Pea?” Instantly, she
watched as her best friend’s face turned several shades of red, rolling onto
her side away from her. Jessie laughed, watching as Violet let out a girlish
squeal and clutched at her chest.
              “I can’t. I just…can’t. I don’t know what to do. What do you do
when you like someone? More specifically, what do you do when you like a
Southside Serpent?” She grumbled, putting her arm back over her face as it
remained flushed. “There’s a lot of politics involved, Jessie, and I don’t like
it. I just want life to be simple.”
              “Don’t we all? But this is what being a teenager is. Love and
existential crises.” Jessie’s occasional philosophical ramblings were what kept
her living, if she was entirely honest. While Jessie came off as incredibly
shallow, there was more to her than that and only Violet got to see it.
              “Promise you’ll be with me through my existential crises?” Violet
asked, offering her pinky. Jessie grinned and lifted her own arm, locking their
pinkies together.
              “Promise.” Violet jumped as her phone went off beside her. She
groaned and grabbed it, unlocking it.
              [Text: Pea]: Meet me at my place later?
              “Oh shit.” Violet panicked aloud, tossing the phone onto the
sheets and flopping to face her window where the dark-haired Serpent had come
in multiple times. She thought, again, of the night they’d kissed. How smoothly
their lips had moved together and how sweet he’d tasted and she ran a tongue
across her lips, trying to taste it again.
              “What is it? Is it him?” Jessie sat up immediately at her
friend’s out-of-character cursing, brows raising in interest. She’d never seen
her friend like this before and it was certainly entertaining to see her so
flustered and interested in someone.
              “If by him you mean Sweet Pea, then yes.” She adjusted herself,
sitting up against the huge pile of pillows, resting against it as she crossed
her legs and arms, trying to figure out what to do or say in response to the
text. “He wants me to come over to his place tonight. What should I say?”
              “Say yes, girl! Go to him! Go to your boy!”
              “Oh my god, he’s not my boy! He’s…” She waved her hands around as
she attempted to come up with the word, but failed, dropping them in her lap.
“He’s just a boy.”
              “A boy you kissed nakedly!” Jessie exclaimed, nearly falling off
the bed in excitement. She’d never seen Vi with anyone, never even seen her
show the slightest interest in anyone. She was a difficult girl to understand,
at least to the male species, and while she was timid, she demanded respect. It
made her proud of her, but she also wanted her to demand respect from her
parents. Like that was ever gonna happen. “Maybe some more things are gonna
happen, nakedly.”
              She loved to see Violet flustered, her face flushed and her lips
spread in embarrassment but also a hint of excitement. Violet was the sad girl
of the two, the saddest girl, and so she enjoyed seeing her with a smile on her
face, regardless of what caused it. It only made her happier that she was
getting it from a Serpent, especially Sweet Pea.
              “Okay, I’m gonna tell him yes, I’m coming over. That’s it.” She
said flatly, picking up her phone and typing said response before tossing it
again. “Whatever happens, happens.”
              “Especially if it’s the sex. Girl!!! You could be losing your v-
card tonight. To a Serpent, no less.” Jessie beamed from ear-to-ear, but the
very mention of v-card made Violet frown and the sickness rise in her stomach.
Jessie saw her frown and instantly realizing her mistake. “Shit, Vi, I’m
sorry…I didn’t…”
              “It’s fine.” She watched as Violet closed herself off again. Two
seconds ago, she’d been a blooming bud, and now here she was, closing herself
up like a flower in the winter. Now she realized what Violet’s parents must
feel. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
              “I know but…” Jessie took her hand. “Can I just say that you’re
still a virgin? Vi, it wasn’t consensual and maybe physically you’re not, but
you didn’t give it to him, so in my opinion, you still have your v-card.”
              Violet withdrew her hand from Jessie’s and crossed her arms over
her chest, holding herself tightly. Jessie breathed heavily, seeing there was
nothing else she could do here, and stood up, gathering her things.
              “See you tomorrow?” Jessie asked, throwing her bag onto her
shoulder as she stood in the doorway looking over at her dejected friend.
              “Yeah…” Violet rolled onto her side and away from Jessie,
bringing the blankets up and over her petite body. “See you tomorrow.”
             
              She’d been in bed for most of the day when she finally decided to
get up, take a shower, and change. Her parents weren’t home yet, making it easy
to leave to see Sweet Pea. She left a note, claiming she’d be at Jessie’s,
knowing her friend would cover for her. The walk to Sunnyside was uneventful
and short, thanks to her jogging some of the way and when she reached Pea’s
trailer, she was panting. She rapped on the door, sticking her hands in her
pockets afterwards and glancing around. The door swung open within a few
minutes, Sweet Pea standing in the doorway.
              He looked just as good as he always did. His hair was wet,
obviously from being fresh out of the shower and he was wearing a pair of dark
jeans, a camo green undershirt, red plaid, and a denim vest version of the
Southside Serpents jacket. Internally, she groaned, but maintained her demeanor
as best she could.
              “Uh…hi? Violet Richards, as requested.” She stated awkwardly,
lifting her arms.
              “Come in.” He said, stepping out of the way to let her come in.
She entered slowly, hands remaining in her pockets. He shut the door behind her
and she swallowed, instantly feeling awkward and unsure of herself. Emotions?
What the fuck were those and how was she supposed to express them?
              “Uh, need I remind you that I am grounded and am currently lying
to my parents about where I am?” She ruffled her blonde hair and shifted
awkwardly, looking to his bed and the memories of the night before coming ten-
fold.
 
     “Nothing…just…I keep ending up in these situations…and you’re always
                           there…maybe it’s a sign.”
                                     “What do you mean?”
                 “W-when you found me outside of the Whyte Wyrm, I was…” She
 sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “I was looking for him. That Serpent
  you saw in my sketchbook. Seems to me that you’re saving me from making bad
                                  decisions.”
                “Or maybe I am a bad decision.” He spoke softly, looking away
        from her as if considering the current situation they were in.
                 “Mhm. I don’t think so.” She grumbled softly before leaning
  forward, as much as her body would let her in her slightly frozen state and
    capturing his lips with hers. They were surprisingly soft, though a bit
    chapped, and kissing him was better than any of the first kisses she’d
envisioned for herself. He began to kiss back, the hand on her neck becoming a
soft hold. They kissed for several moments, though it seemed like years, before
he released her lips and she buried her face into his neck out of embarrassment
                           at her momentary bravery.
                                        
                 “Maybe it’s the hypothermia talking…but I really like you,
 Sweets.” She mumbled into his throat before feeling herself drift off into a
                              comfortable sleep.
                                        
              “Listen, Vi, I wanna talk about last night.” He spoke, obviously
having difficulty expressing himself. She felt the anxiety within her stomach
rise to her chest and she grew more uncomfortable, wrapping her jacket more
around herself and looking away. It seemed her typical lifestyle of avoiding
feelings and relationships wasn’t working out very well, was it?
              “Um, what about it?” She played innocent, knowing full well what
exactly it was he wanted to talk about. She’ll ruffle her hair again and softly
bite her lip.
              “Don’t do that.” He barked out softly and her head snapped up as
she released her lips. He seemed frustrated, brows furrowed, and his arms
crossed over his chest.
              “Do what?” She asked, finding her lip between her teeth again.
His hands twitched visibly against his chest and she could see frustration
growing within him. Before she realized what was happening, her back met the
door, soft lips against hers, and his hand knotted into her hair. She didn’t
hold back, bracing her hands against his sides as he pressed it into her, lips
moving against each other and his tongue sliding into her mouth. She felt his
hands on her waist and then on her thighs, forcing her to pause instantly. She
pushed him away quickly, head falling back against the door.
              His expression was that of confusion, brows furrowed and eyes
soft with curiosity and a hint of hurt. She wiped her mouth, holding her hand
there as she tried to compose herself. She held him at arm’s length, hand
against his chest, feeling his heartbeat rapidly in his ribcage.
              “I…” She tried to form words, but found herself out of breath and
words, mind struggling to come up with anything coherent. All she could think
about was him and she felt the same bile rising in the back of her throat, as
it always did when she thought about the incident, and she hurriedly pushed him
out of the way, running for his bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet
before the contents of her stomach left her lips, narrowly missing strands of
blond hair. She heard Pea behind her as she vomited violently, and she felt him
move towards her but instantly stuck her hand out. “Please…don’t…t-touch me.”
              She closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind as her hand fell to
the floor. She vomited a few more times before finally composing herself.
Standing, she turned on the faucet and rinsed her mouth out, placing hands on
either side of the sink and leaning into her hips as she let her head drop.
              “It’s not you, Pea.” She shook her head, the air heavy. This was
exactly why she couldn’t do this. Not now or ever, she feared.
              “It’s not me, it’s you? Really?” His voice had a bit of
aggression in it, likely due to the hurt. He seemed just like Jessie in this
aspect, but she didn’t know how to mend this. She turned slowly, leaning
against the sink.
              “I know it sounds shitty, but yes.” She wiped her eyes of any
tears from her vomiting episode but she could feel herself on the brink. Pea
shifted his weight from left to right before stalking off, making her follow
him quickly. “Come on, Pea! Let’s be real! You said it yourself: you’re
Southside. I’m not! How can we expect this to work out?!”
              He turned once they were in his bedroom and crossed his arms
again, face and shoulders pensive. His eyes had darkened to a terrifying point
and she felt herself swallow thickly, but approach him. She took him by the
lapels of his jacket and leaned into his face, gently bringing him down to her
level, brushing her lips against his. Brown eyes fluttered at the feeling and
he went to kiss her deeper, but she stopped him.
              “I’m sorry, Sweet Pea, but I can’t. I…I want to, but I can’t.”
She released the lapels of his jacket and turned, walking out of the trailer
without another word, carefully shutting the door behind her. Once outside, she
broke out into a run, tears brimming on the edges of her eyes. She didn’t know
where she was going, but she didn’t particularly care. All she cared about was
the intense pain in her chest and running away from it.
***** Eight. Look After You *****
                        It's always have and never hold
                        You've begun to feel like home
                     What's mine is yours to leave or take
                     What's mine is yours to make your own
              She didn’t know why she was at the Whyte Wyrm drinking her weight
in alcohol, especially considering the last time she did it something bad
happened, but there she was. She never did have good coping skills and
alcoholism just seemed like the next step on her long road to unhealthy coping
mechanisms. She didn’t know what number shot she was on, all she knew was that
her vision was starting to blur, and a nausea had begun to blossom in her
stomach. She’ll signal to the bartender for another drink before sliding off
the stool and stumbling towards the bathroom, leaning against the wall once
there and observing the short line. Groaning, she’ll lean her head back and
touch her head, nursing the headache she could already feel coming on. She felt
her cellphone vibrate in her pocket and drunkenly began rummaging for it,
finding it successfully. After struggling to put in her code for a solid five
minutes, she finally unlocked it and checked the received message.
              [Text: Birther]: Where in the hell are you? You have exactly ten
minutes to be in this house or I will call the police!!!!!!
              Pretending her parents were in front of her, she gagged, sticking
her tongue out, ruffling her long blonde hair and looking to see if the line
was shorter. They hadn’t moved an inch. Looking back to her phone, blue eyes
spotted the thread reading Pea and she narrows her eyes, recalling their fight
earlier that day.
              “Please…don’t…t-touch me.”
              “Come on, Pea! Let’s be real! You said it yourself: you’re
Southside. I’m not! How can we expect this to work out?!”
              Before she knew it, she’d tapped his contact info and pressed the
dial button, holding the phone to her ear, waiting for him to pick up. Was this
a bad idea? Probably. Was she doing it anyways? Definitely. The second she
heard the line picked up, she was drunkenly stumbling and slurring her words.
              “Mhm, Peeeeeeeaaa.” She slurred, leaning against the wall as she
heard him drawl out a questioning hello. “Whatttt are you doiiing~?” A hiccup
and short giggle followed.
              “Uh-” He opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off as she began
talking again, stumbling in line.
              “Mhm...it’s not you, it’s me. You’re riiiiiight. I-it was duuuuh-
umm.” His brows furrowed as her words slurred together. Was she drunk? He’d
never heard her drunk before but surely, she had to be drunk. The slurred words
and disruptive hiccups were proof of that.
              “Uh, are you drunk, Vi?” He asked the obvious question, moving to
sit with either leg on the sides of his bike, putting the phone between his
shoulder and ear, ready to take off.
              “Ummmm, no! I’m not drunk! Youuuuu’re drunk!” Yep. She was drunk.
              “Where are you, Vi?” He asked, starting up his bike, revving the
engine.
              “Mhm...some bar somewhere...I dunno. Why do you care? It’s not
youuu, it’s meeee, remember?” Another hiccup. He listened intently to the
background and heard what sounded like Tall Boy. She had to be at the Whyte
Wyrm.
              “I’ll be there in ten. Don’t leave.” He hung up the phone, kicked
up his kickstand and sped off. Meanwhile, Violet finally reached the bathroom
and thanked God, as only a drunk person can, as she emptied the only contents
of her stomach into the toilet, clinging to the sides of the stall. After
finishing, she’ll stand and stumble over to the sink, giving a soft smile to
the other girls in the bathroom. She’ll rinse her mouth out and stumble out of
the bathroom, finding her way back to the bar, grinning pleasantly upon seeing
her drink still waiting for her.
              “Thank youuuuu~!” She lifted the glass in cheers to the
bartender, who was giving her strange looks and obviously thinking it was about
time he cut her off. When his gaze lifted from her, it was only to look to
Sweet Pea, who was standing behind her. Upon seeing her about to down another
drink, he’ll grab the drink from her and set it back down on the bar, swiveling
her around on the stool. “Noooooooooooo!” She whined, trying to turn and grab
the glass again whilst Pea tried to get her off the stool. It was started to
look vaguely look like a kidnapping.
              “Come on, let’s get you home.” He forcibly draped her arm over
his shoulder to support her and again tried to pull her away from the bar (and
the drink she’d ordered). It failed, however, as she took what she saw as her
last opportunity and seized the shot glass and threw it back, slamming it back
on the bar with a grin. He’ll roll his eyes and sigh with defeat, frowning down
at her, lips pressed in a thin line. “You done?”
              “…maybe…” She grumbled, blue eyes innocently looking up at him
through thick eyelashes. Another eyeroll and he’ll nod at the bartender,
helping her out of the bar. As they approached his bike, he’ll quickly realize
that he doesn’t know if he can get her home on it, considering how intoxicated
she is. The last thing he needed was to get in a wreck trying to get her home.
Sighing, he’ll ruffle his short dark hair and begin walking in the direction of
Sunnyside, cursing himself internally.
 
              By the time they reach his place, she’s almost to the point of
passing out, leaning into him, her head pressed into his shoulder. He’ll pop
open the door with ease and then struggle to get them both through, opting to
place his arms underneath her knees and lift her up, stepping inside the
trailer and heading for the bedroom right away. He’ll set her down on the bed,
adjusting the pillows before she pulls him into a wet, sloppy kiss, no doubt a
result of her heavily intoxicated state. He’ll quickly take her arms from
around his neck and detach from her, making her whine.
              “Mhm...please, Peaaaaa!” She unceremoniously tugged at her own
shirt, revealing a pale stomach, which he quickly pushed back down. She then
moved to start tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off him, forcing him to
grab her hands and pin them to her sides.
              “Maybe tomorrow when you’re sober.” He murmured into her face
before gently releasing her hands, watching as she tossed onto her side,
mumbling something inaudible. He’ll grab the blankets from the end of the bed
and toss them over the top of her. She adjusted, moving to lay on her back with
her head to the side, hands curled up around her chest. He’ll move to the foot
of the bed and untie her Chuck Taylor’s, tossing them aside. He heard something
vibrate and after rummaging around, found her cellphone in her pocket. The
notification read:
              [Text: Jessie]: Vi, where are you? Don’t tell me you’re drinking.
That guy could hurt you again!
                                  Oh, oh, oh
                                  Oh, oh, oh
                                  Be my baby
                              I'll look after you
                                  (After you)
                                  Oh, oh, oh
                                  Oh, oh, oh
                                  Be my baby
                                  Oh, oh, oh
***** Nine. Honesty *****
              She was beginning to think her place of death was going to be her
dining table, surrounded by her parents, peering at her expectantly. She was
also beginning to think that she couldn’t keep lying and perhaps it was time to
tell the truth. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to create a wall,
of sorts, between her and her parents (other than the one that was already
present in their relationship). Her mother stared pensively at her, reflecting
her daughter, perfect blonde hair tied up in an updo and brows raised
expectantly. Her father sat beside her, hands together and resting on the
table, his face one of concern and reluctance of participation.
              “Violet, where were you? And don’t lie.” Her mother demanded, an
edge to her voice. Violet’s arms tightened around her chest and she looked
away, avoiding the gazes of her parents. Her parents had never cared about her
life, so why did they care now? Sure, she had been leaving without telling them
where she was, but what did they care? She wanted out of this uncomfortable
situation, but she wanted out of it without having to tell them anything. She
just didn’t want to say anything to them. In her opinion, they didn’t deserve
to hear anything she had to say, regardless of what it was. She sighed and
uncrossed her arms, resting her hands on the table and nervously tapping them,
considering her options.
              Telling them where she was and who she was with would likely
result in her being grounded and possibly worse, especially for Sweet Pea.
However, she wasn’t sure if she could lie her way out of this. They wanted in
on her life? They were about to get the full run-down, whether they liked it or
not.
              “Violet, please…” Her father pleaded, extending his hand to reach
for hers. She instantly retracted the appendage, shooting him a glare and
bringing it into her lap.
              “I was at Sunnyside.” She revealed, watching as her mother’s face
instantly changed to one of shock and anger, a hint of disdain present. She
stood from her chair immediately, palms colliding with the table with a loud
bang and she could almost hear her mother’s teeth grinding as her jaw clenched.
              “You went to that-that den of iniquity?!”  She yelled, voice
shrill. Violet remained unflinching in the face of her mother, instead crossing
her arms again and moving her gaze to lock with her mother’s. Her father’s head
dropped to his hands, already having seen this coming and already seeing the
full-blown fight coming.
              “Yeah, I did…multiple times…with a boy. A Serpent.” She held
nothing back. At this point, it seemed to just be about rebellion, but she’d
been doing that for years. This was just a matter of finally being honest about
her life, regardless of whether they approved or not and it felt better than
she could’ve imagined.
              “Violet Skylar Richards!” Her mother’s shrill yell echoed through
the house and she could feel her punishment coming. She’ll stand from the chair
and exit the dining room, only further enraging her mother, who quickly
followed her, yelling. Violet ignored her as she ascended the steps to her
room. Her father started after her mother, trying to get everyone to calm down,
but failing miserably as Violet slammed her door shut and threw herself onto
her bed, bringing her pillow over her head to block out her mother who
continued to scream, fist colliding with the locked door. For a moment, she let
herself drift back to that morning with Sweet Pea.
              She woke up to her head slamming against her skull, hair a mess,
and clothes disheveled. She rolls onto her back and opposite side, looking
towards the kitchen where she could hear utensils clanking and sizzling.
Groaning, she’ll slowly move to sit up and stumble into the kitchen, pausing to
see Sweet Pea standing in front of the stove, fixing up some eggs and hash
browns. Face will distort in confusion and she’ll ruffle her hair.
              “Mhm…last night wasn’t a dream…” She murmured, flashes of the
night before appearing in her brain and she felt her cheeks flush. God, had she
actually done that? She was regretting the drinking and trying to have sex with
Sweet Pea, but she was glad he was there. How had he figured out where she was?
Why had he come to get her after their fight? He was proving her to be wrong
about him in more than one way.
              “No, no it wasn’t.” He replied, finishing up the eggs and hash
browns and throwing them on a plate, setting the plate beside her. She’ll groan
at the sight of food and run a hand over her face, struggling to ignore how
intensely nauseous she felt. It would probably feel good to eat something, but
did she want to? Not really. She’ll fight the nausea and take a bite of the
eggs. It didn’t taste as disgusting as she thought they would. Sweet Pea
crossed his arms and leaned against the stove after turning it off. As she
chewed, she looked over at him, noticing that he was dressed in his usual pair
of dark jeans and a plaid shirt. He wasn’t wearing his Serpent’s jacket, which
was a bit odd and made him seem…not like himself.
              “Listen…” She started, speaking with her mouth full despite the
manners she was taught. She finished her bite and wiped her mouth. “About last
night…I…”
              “You got a text from Jessie.” He interjected, causing her to
pause, arms resting on the counter. She felt a pit rise and consume her stomach
and she felt her arms and hands begin to tremble, breath becoming shaky.
              “What did it say?” She had a feeling he was about to tell her,
asking the question before he could answer.
              “It said…” He un-crossed and re-crossed his arms, setting his jaw
repeatedly, obviously struggling to get it out. “Vi, where are you? Don’t tell
me you’re drinking. That guy could hurt you again.” He mimicked Jessie as best
he possibly could, crossing the room to stand before her, brown eyes deep and
she found herself practically drowning in them. She struggled to breathe, not
just because of her anxiety. “Who. Is. The. Guy. Vi?”
              “I…don’t know.” She said slowly, starting to back away from him
and turn towards the bedroom, trying to distance herself from this
conversation. It failed as Sweet Pea followed behind her, continuing to
inquire.
              “Okay then what did he do? How did he hurt you, Vi?” He demanded,
arms crossing as he stood in the doorway, watching as she sat down on the bed,
grabbing her shoes and beginning to put them on.
              “I…I don’t want to talk about it.” She murmured, beginning to
feel herself hyperventilating at the very thought of the man from that night.
              “Vi, tell me.” He remained in the doorway, putting on his best
intimidating façade. He wanted the truth, even if he had to intimidate it out
of her.
              “It’s…nothing. It’s…” She felt tears form around her eyes and
pressed her hands against them, trying to hide it. She felt ashamed and dirty,
just like she had the night it happened, and wanted to shower again. She
continues crying softly into her hands, trying to compose herself as he stood
in the doorway. “I…I went to a party at the Whyte Wyrm…and—and…this…guy…he-”
              She stopped, breaking down again. She curled up into herself on
the end of the bed, wrapping herself in the sweater she was wearing, and
pulling her hair to form a veil over her face. She wanted to somehow conceal
her crying, her ugly tear-stained face, and she just wanted to disappear into
her clothes.
              “He-he drugged my drink when I wasn’t looking…” She clamped her
eyes shut, brain slamming against her skull from her hangover and her crying.
Nothing more needed to be said. Sweet Pea instantly understood, and a dread
rose in his stomach. He uncrossed his arms and slowly crossed the room, sitting
down slowly beside her. He’ll drape an arm over her shoulder, watching as she
winced away from him, but eventually settled into the touch. She looked to him,
black streaks of mascara streaming down her face and staining it, tinted lip
gloss smeared across her cheek, and eyeliner smudged around her eye. Her hair
was disheveled both from sleep and her breakdown, strands sticking up here and
there. Her soft blue eyes were quiet, and he could see how broken she was in
that moment and how okay she pretended to be. He wrapped her in his arms and
pulled her to him in a comforting embrace and she buried her face into his
neck, breathing in his comforting scent.
             She recalled his comforting scent in that moment and for a second,
her pillow smelled like him. She threw the pillow to the side, the world around
her fading back in. She’ll grasp her phone on the night-stand and unplug it
from the charger, easily unlocking it and quickly typing a text as she listened
to her parents arguing outside. Almost immediately, it pinged in response and
after checking it, she strode over to her closet and pulled out a duffle bag,
beginning to toss clothes in it.
              About fifteen minutes later, she emerged from her room and her
mother turned to her to continue yelling but paused upon seeing her daughter
with a packed bag. She crossed her arms and stood at the top of the stairs,
standing firmly in her way.
              “Where do you think you’re going?” She demanded, leaning her
weight onto her left hip.
              “I’m leaving.” She stepped forward into her mother’s space, eyes
staring into the other’s dark eyes fearlessly. “Step. Out. Of. My. Way.”
              “Cathy, let her go.” Her father said from the side, not wanting
the situation to explode any further. Her mother will look her up and down as
if sizing her up before standing aside and Violet descended the stairs almost
right away, not even waiting for her parents to change their mind. Her mother
followed, though, spewing insults and frantically yelling. Violet threw the
door open and stepped out, shivering involuntarily at the rain outside, but
glancing back at what was waiting for her inside, she readily stepped out.
              She saw Sweet Pea on his bike, parked just out front of the
house, waiting for her. He saw her and instantly started the bike back up,
placing his hands on the handlebars and his feet on either side of the bike.
She could hear her mother shouting distantly, almost like a muffle, but it all
just seemed to fade away as she strode towards Sweet Pea. It was him, always
him. Every time something went down and she needed someone, it was him. He was
there for her outside of the Whyte Wyrm, when she fell in the quarry, when she
was drunk and now, when she needed to get away from her parents...
              Maybe it was the situation, maybe it was wanting to defy her
parents, or maybe it was just seeing him sitting on his bike in the Serpent
jacket, soaked in the rain that made her run up to him, grab him by the back of
the neck and softly kiss him, lips wet from the rain. He didn’t hold back, just
as the first time they’d kissed, and pressed his lips back against hers,
wrapping an arm around her waist and bringing her up to him and the warm,
roaring bike. She pulled away from him after several moments, panting, and
slung her leg over the back of the bike, clinging to her duffle bag and looking
to her parents, looking shocked and confused on the porch to their five-year
old house. Then she watched as they slowly became little ants on the horizon as
Sweet Pea took off and honestly? Nothing felt better than the wind in her hair
and the rain on her face as she clung to Sweet Pea.
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